We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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