Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
