so that wasnt chicken after all
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Panties = found
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