I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize