Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
