Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
