I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
