I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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