Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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