I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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