YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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