Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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