Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize