I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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