Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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