getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
