Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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