I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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