We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
