Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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