so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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