We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
