Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
