why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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