Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
