So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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