Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
