Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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