I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
