worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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