Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
