nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
