porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
