Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
