Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
