found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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