My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize