Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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