I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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