so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
