CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
