there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
