Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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