ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
