I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
