I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
