I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
