She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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