What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
