You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize