Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
