I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
