alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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