Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
