i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
