i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
