hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
