I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
