I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
