i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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