We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
