im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
