scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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