i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
