Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
