Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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