the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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